 Main |
Next  |
August 6 1997CONSENTUALITY
Welcome to my debut column here in the Gorean Daily Times, where among other things, I shall address issues pertaining to living a lifestyle based on the Gorean philosophy while in this society. To accomplish this, I will draw upon my 16 years of experience in living the lifestyle, extensive discussions I have had with those in and out of this lifestyle, and one hopes, a good deal of common sense.
For this first column, I had thought to speak about what the Gorean philosophy is, so as to give us a common ground to work from, but events which have come to my attention this week have caused me to change my plans. This week, I will speak to an issue that most of you probably understand instinctively, but it is one which I had aptly demonstrated to me online recently that a few do not. And because they do not, there is a propensity for great harm.
The philosophy of D/s is a common one to those of us who consider ourselves Gorean (while the ownership of another human being is not a prerequisite to be Gorean, nor is it the totality of the concept of being Gorean, it indeed is a part of what we do) What we see that we do differently, simply, is to take that one step further, into deeper Master/slave relationships. In these relationships, the slave is the property of the Master. The slaves total being is given to the Master to do with as he/she pleases.
Or is it?
We do not live on a fantasy world. No one sees tarns and spaceships flying overhead (well, most people do not). This society we live in day to day is not a construct of "John Norman". When I hear people refer to "the books" as some sort of bible for total Gorean behavior, I have to chuckle. These books are novels, written for entertainment only. Indeed, much of what is contained in "the books", if carried directly over into our lives here, would surely cause one to be imprisoned in the United States. The books are but a guideline.
So what does one who truly searches the path to live life as a Gorean do?
One adjusts. One lives in *this* society and not in some imaginary one with "soul sucking swords" and "tarn-riding warriors", "Dark Elf Assassins" and "Kick-Ass Assassins Guilds". To do so -- to play this as a twisted Dungeons and Dragons game -- causes one to begin to lose touch with the reality of the situation. And that reality is this: The ones who kneel before us are people. They are consenting adults who search this lifestyle for fulfillment, just as you do, albeit from a different perspective. And they have a choice.
A choice?
Indeed they do. They have two. The first was to explore this lifestyle. Whether they choose to do so online, in person or on paper, they have made a choice to come and learn more of what it is we do. They may find very quickly that what Gor is, is not for them. That is valid and in many cases very wise. Some, however choose to stay and be collared. That leaves them with their final choice. The one the slave always has. The one that is forced upon all of us by this society. The one that keeps what we do safe and legal and less dangerous.
They may choose to quit.
Forget for a moment the majority of "online Gor", to whom a collar is akin to "going steady" in High School. What goes on online has, in many cases, nothing to do with the philosophy in truth. What I speak of here are those who are serious, who understand the commitment and who do not play. A slave is a slave by consent. No one can force a collar on someone without their acquiesce. To do so is folly; forced servitude is against the law in most parts of the world, and since the *rest* of society does not follow this philosophy, it simply causes insurmountable obstacles to the "relationship". As Gorean as we are, we are still a product of this society and we *must* live within it. After all my time in the lifestyle, I can see no reason to own a woman who does not wish, with the freely-given totality of her being, to live and serve you in celebration of her submission.
That means, then, that they have the choice to quit.
There are many reasons to do so. I could not list them all if I had another whole web site. The reasons, for the purpose of this discussion are not important in any case. The fact of the matter is that they may quit, at any time, and unless the "Master" has lost his or her mind, they will surely release them from the collar. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. I have seen one such case where a "man" (again on IRC, sadly, where a man does not have to be a man) openly replied "No" to a girl who knelt to him and sought her release from a collar of a "tavern" that he "owned". The resulting mayhem and melee (another op, challenging the decision, then kicked and banned the "owner" of the channel from his own channel, the slave girl was reduced to tears, the "owner" returned and kicked the others, etc., etc., etc.) served to illustrate that there are some people who play at this philosophy who are simply not ready for the awesome responsibility of actually holding another persons life in their hands.
For those of us who live this philosophy in our daily lives, who hold the lives of those who have submitted to us closely and not only in some word-game such as IRC, the impact of these kinds of actions are astounding. And disheartening. For those of us who live this lifestyle truly, and who realize that those who kneel to us do so because they themselves are also searching to find a way to be whole, such issues appear to be self-evident. Sadly, to some who will never touch the pure, unadulterated joy of what it is we do, this most basic lesson has escaped them.
And that, my friends, is the most frightening thing facing us today.
More next week...