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April 1 1998Over the course of the past several weeks, I have been doing a great deal of thinking about relationships, and how they are applied to my life, and the lives of others. The diversity of lifestyle, and belief, even among those I consider to be within the community, although not great, is apparent in the way men interact with other men, slaves, and their own slaves. It would be beyond me to say what is right, or wrong for each of these relationships, but I am always free to speculate, and examine. It would be a great self injustice to not do so.
Examination of one's self, and others, is a very real part of growth. During our individual journeys, we tend to look not only inside ourselves for guidance, but outside as well, to our peers. We watch, listen, discuss. We see how others do it, and then turn inward to see if that is how "we", as individuals should, and can do it. At times, perhaps we wonder if it is at all possible for ourselves to feel, and to do, what others do. However, in hindsight, I realize that it is not how "others" do it that is important, it is how "we" do it that truly matters.
Now I hope that my words do not imply that we may all do as we wish, and call it "Gorean". That is hardly the idea here. As I mentioned above, I speak of "within the community", and *those* relationships. How do I know where the line is drawn? It is drawn quite clearly, actually. In regards to slavery, I believe the most prominent defining point is that men will *always* choose their own path, and if there are women who are strong enough to accept that, they may walk with these men. The moment that a man decides to allow a woman to tell him the way things *will* be, against either his will, or his judgment, then he has stepped over the line that divides the Gorean lifestyle from the simpler, more emasculated D/s lifestyle where the women actually rule the roost with their own guidelines, laid out for their Doms like tomorrow's clothes, neatly folded and tightly creased.
Gorean men
The Gorean men I know, for the most part, have their own styles of doing things. They maintain their individual outlook on the lifestyle, along with a strict adherence to the truth, and honor. They do not bandy words. They tell it like it is, regardless of who they are speaking to. Many would call this being unduly harsh. Some, however, can have nothing but respect for such men. Even among themselves, they will say what they think to each other. During discussions where their viewpoints clash like steel, the true man stands out, and is respected for doing so, even if he is not of the popular majority. To simply bob your head up and down in an attempt to seek the favor of men strong in their beliefs, even when in disagreement with them, holds about as much honor as the little fake dog in the back window of your car. When the dust has settled, they part as friends, perhaps lighter for knowing yet another point of view. Gorean men are thinkers, and doers. They will, at times, sit back, and apply a great deal of thought to a situation, or an idea, especially if it directly concerns them and their beliefs. After coming to a conclusion, they will do what is right for them to do, in what they feel is their best interest. Our journeys are our own, and to try to live another's idea of the "correct" way to do things is simply a scharade, soon discovered, and excluded from the community as the farce that it is.
When Gorean men are dealing with their slaves, often they will let the girl speak her heart. It is pleasing to hear a girl speak her thoughts and feelings. It better allows a man to know his girl when she is in a talkative mood, or commanded to speak. In this way, he can decide which course to take with her, and the best way to approach issues in her training, so that both he, and the slave reap the benefits of the time and effort put forth. Gorean men realize, I think, that their slaves should be happy in the relationship. If they do not believe that, they find themselves going from slave to slave, perhaps wondering why they cannot keep one in their collar for very long. It should be understood that such *real* relationships require much time, and effort to bring to fruition. It is a lazy man who seeks *only* to be pleased, without applying any effort to creating from an individual and unique girl, a slave which is truly *his* slave. Such are not Gorean men, in my humble opinion.
When I speak of the work involved on the part of a Gorean man, I speak of more than simply raising the whip, and beating the girl into a state of percieved acceptance. I think if such training is all that a girl has to look forward to from a man, she will, sooner or later, move on to something a bit more realistic and meaningful. Any man can whip a girl, however, not any man can understand her fully, and what makes her tick, with such a simpleminded approach to mastery. The whip is a useful tool, at times, however, like any tool that is used excessively, it will soon lose it's meaning. To own a real slave, a man must know her mind, fully. Such a knowledge requires that much time be spent by a man in discussion with the girl, listening to her, and at tmes adjusting his methods to achieve his end with her.
Gorean men look on their slaves as property. Many times they are compared to inanimate objects to make the point of ownership understood. This is quite difficult for most people to understand. The thought of it often causes those without Gorean beliefs to shudder, especially those women who are merely submissives, and not slaves. This might well be a reason why most cringe at our beliefs. However, among many Gorean men, there is no other piece of property on earth like an intelligent, lovely slave in one's collar. There is much pride for a man when he owns a well behaved, pleasing, and happy slavegirl. Gorean men know that there is no pride involved when a man allows his girl to do as she wishes. Sadly though, this seems to be the norm for *most* relationships on IRC Gor. They may call themselves what they wish, but in their hearts they know they are not Gorean men. If these weak men, who cannot, or will not control their girls, were to ever understand the existence of true slavery, they would toss their topping subbies aside, get themselves a slave or two, and perhaps eventually join the ranks of the Gorean community and it's philosophy, ruled by men... Gorean men.
Gorean slaves
Like a fine automobile, a slave must be cared for, or she will decay eventually. If I owned a Ferrari, you can bet that I will be out there every day dusting it... touching it... looking at it... tuning it... taking the best care of it. I will be rewarded for my efforts by owning a fine running, pleasing automobile. The same form of ownership, or mastery, is well applied to a man's slave. It is an irresponsible man who would neglect his slaves, and let them gather dust, sitting there, expected to be pleasing to him at *all* times, without her maintenance. This is simply a fact of life, in my opinion. I know this will seem very presumptious of me to suggest to some of you who read this, but, as a Gorean man, I speak my mind on a matter. Continue to let your slaves rot, while you seek your pleasure, but do not be surprised when the day comes that you go out to the garage, and find your Ferrari turned into a heap of rusted steel and splintered fiberglass... gone, because you failed in your responsibility of it's ownership.
A Gorean slave, is a most valuable possession. She has the capacity to do a great many things to please her master. Is that not what owning a slave is all about? Is it unreasonable for this slave to expect something in return from her master? Lazy men, I am sure would say "no" to a slave "expecting" to be happy in her slavery. That is their choice. Reality, though, has a way of setting into the mind of one who seeks to know the truth of the matter. That reality is that a slave's submission to a man is consentual. She does so for many reasons, and not all are because she simply wishes to please. A slave has her own needs in life. Perhaps it is the need to be loved, or cared for, needed. A slave needs to know that she has value. She needs to know that she is not just a worthless piece of shit. Yes, I know that the books tell us that slaves were often purchased at a very low price. Such is to be expected from a series of novels about a fictional planet, where the value of human life, especially slaves, is considered to be next to nothing. I am sure someone will let me know if they personally own a slave from the planet Gor, who knows better than to have expectations and needs other than what her master wishes. Perhaps such a mindless wench would be worth a few copper tarsks to a man who seeks nothing but a fucktoy. Personally, I have better things to spend my money on than simpleminded, whipdulled and intellectually boring girls.
It is my opinion that a Gorean slave should be capable of pleasing her master in all aspects of his life. She must have the capacity for friendship, intelligent conversation, love, and pleasing sex. She should be ready to provide any of these things as her master wishes. A complex man will have many moods, and needs that he requires be fulfilled. He seeks a slave that will see to them all. If he is in the mood for friendship, she will be his friend. If he wishes to discuss, she will talk to him. If he wishes love, she will provide it, and well. If he wishes sex, he will use her, fully, as his property. Such is the lot of a Gorean slave. Is it wrong for her to ask these things of her master when she herself needs them? No. She may always ask for things she wishes, however, in closing, if she is truly a slave, she will accept this finality, which always comes to my mind when I think of a girl's enslavement to her master:
"In the end, it is the master who will decide what is to be done with the slave."