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January 1 1998In a few of the non-IRC areas pertaining to this lifestyle that I spend time in, a debate has been going on for a bit, namely, bdsm/dsms and how the Gorean lifestyle philosophy fits in, in relation to those practices. I have read many words and much flaming over the differences and similarities and have heard all kinds of wild claims by both sides. I have spent some time considering this and my opinion follows.
First, it is important to note that I do not seek to denigrate what anyone does with their time. I live by a very simple creed, and it allows much room for those who wish to practice and do things that I might find distasteful or even downright silly. I do not suffer fools gladly, however, and those who claim to be Gorean yet disregard the most rudimentary aspects of the philosophy because it is "too hard or too strict" for them, or those who treat this lifestyle as a Dungeons and Dragons IRC game well earn my public disregard. The truth of the matter of bdsm/dsms and the Gorean lifestyle is that they are two separate and different things. They cannot be compared as if they were the same thing.
Let me try to explain what I mean.
Bdsm/dsms describes a series of actions, undertaken to accomplish a set purpose, most often some sort of satisfaction (often sexual, but not limited to that) for those involved in the play. Whether it be tight bondage, waxing, pony play or even toilet play, the end result is that when the play is over, it is over. The participants then can return to their everyday pursuits and dream about the next session, spanking party, or whatever gathering is promised.
The Gorean philosophy is a *lifestyle* philosophy. By that, I mean that it reaches deeply into *all* aspects of ones life and determines to a great extent everything that one does. I have already said in this space that my being Gorean, and choosing to live with honor has cost me job, family and friends. Living as a Gorean is not limited to manifestation *only* when a "group" gathers or when ones partner is present. Indeed, it is quite possible to be Gorean and be totally alone and remain completely celibate.
I often times will use this as an example for Doms who ask me the difference between what I am and what they do: Gorean men live with the burden and responsibility of behaving with honor, everyday of their lives. A Dom may *elect* to do so, but to be Gorean, one *must* do so.
An analogy: Some of my friends like to shoot skeet. This involves going out to a secured shooting range where, with all proper safeguards in place, one informs the attendant when one wishes a clay disk to be tossed into the air at a high velocity. One then fires ones rifle or shotgun at this clay disk, and points are scored for various hits on the target. We will call these people "shooters"
Other friends of mine like to hunt. We will call them the "hunters". They take the same kind of rifle or shtogun as shooters do, and they do fire it, as shooters do. But there the similarities end. The "hunter" must *stalk* and find his game, not call for it at his pleasure, and the target does not follow a pre-determined trajectory. The hunt is less sterile and pre-ordained, yet at its base requires no more skill in the firing of the weapon than shooting does. The hunter may return at the end of the day with nothing to show for his efforts, and he accepts this, while the shooter knows he will 'bag" a number of clay targets if he has the skill to fire straight..It is true that everything the shooters do is contained within the hunters actions, but it is also true that the hunters activity is so much more than simply standing about and yelling "Pull!" when one is ready to fire his weapon.
It is thus with bdsm/dsms and the Gorean lifestyle. The similarities are there, some of the practices are the same, but they are two totally different things; one an activity, the other a lifestyle While it is foolish for one side to claim that the Gorean philosophy has nothing to do with bdsm at all, it is also foolish and short-sighted (and perhaps, a bit self-serving) to have others claim that the totality of the Gorean lifestyle is simply another bdsm/dsms game to play. To do the former is to deny the truth, to do the latter is to blind oneself to it.
There is no one way, no one path for a man to follow. There are traditions and codes by which one must live ones life, if one chooses to do so, and one must do so if one is to be considered Gorean by ones fellows. The bdsm/dsms communities and the Gorean community have existed side by side for a number of years, and I would hate to see that change simply because "gor" has become the flavour of the month for some who understand how to shoot but not hunt. For as we have seen, there is more to the Gorean lifestyle than simply firing ones "gun".
I wish you well.
Bear-
Remember, you can write Bear- at [email protected]. All letters will be read and few answered, but he might comment from time to time.