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November 20 1997The other morning, I was called Ubar.
Honestly.
That morning I had signed onto IRC, as I am wont to do from time to time, to say hello to friends whose access is restricted to the early morning hours. I ran a channel list, which I rarely do in the mornings because my time is so limited. Scanning that list, I found out that I have been called Ubar. By the owner of a "training channel". In public, no less!
And me, with nothing regal at all to wear... <grin>
To be honest, the remark in the channel topic was meant to be a flame, I think, weak though it was. I chuckled for a good long time, however, over it. (Listen, I have a hard time getting very worked up over some little guy who is so far removed from reality as to refer to himself a "dark Elf", a "PainLord" who founds an online "Kick-Ass Gorean Assassins Guild", wielding magic soul-sucking swords and such. Hey, I'm sorry, but this philosophy is part of my *lifestyle*, and it is just not in me to take someone like that at all seriously - at the point that this guy registered a channel on DALnet called "Dungeons of the Elves" described as "bdsm in the world of Middle Earth", I knew where he was coming from. I would imagine that most women who would have to place their safety and their very lives in the hand of this kind of man would feel pretty much the same. I mean, what kind of woman wants someone to play a Dungeons and Dragons fantasy game with their intimate, total submission?) (But I digress, the little elf is not the problem with Gor, he is only one symptom...)
But it did make me think. About Ubars. Is there an Ubar online? Is there need for one?
There have been a few attempts in the past by men to assume this mantle. I remember one who described himself as the "Ubar of Treve" (I cannot remember now if it was Treve #1 or Treve #2 or Treve #3 or Treve #4 or ...) who while not a bad fellow, was so hopelessly mired in vanilla bdsm ideas that he soon found himself bereft of patrons to his channel (I guess Treve emptied out), and he then "left gor" and came back to IRC under a new nickname, running a vanilla bdsm channel, which has also folded.
Then there was the one with the substance abuse problem, who in his sloth and frustration thought to unite all of Gor under his banner - that of a "council" to rule over the channels with him at it's head. Needless to say, while some listened initially, it soon became obvious that this man was in no condition to lead anything, and that the idea of a "council" to rule over the channels was a foolish, unworkable idea. Today this man remains on the fringes of the community, still suffering the same demons which have haunted him for years. While I no longer call him friend, I do wish him strength and courage in his battles with his weaknesses.
Many others have toyed with the idea of a "Gor.net" server, one in which only "goreans" would be allowed to enter. Such a thing has been offered to me to run several times, in fact. Zeb and I have always chosen to remain on the growing DAL.net, in an open channel. The lifestyle is restrictive enough, it is difficult to fake, and we never saw the need to restrict it further. The owners of such a net would, of course, become de facto "Ubars" of the realm. We have seen the affect that an out-of- control IRCop can have on a community, why would one place oneself under the yoke of one whose main qualification to lead is a computer, and some software?
Among the few men whom I consider Gorean online, we have never found the need to have an Ubar. We are certainly different men, with different ideas and we are often difficult at times. We do not always agree and certainly do not always get along. But we are united in the fact that we are Gorean and the mutual respect we have for one another transcends the need for a figurehead. We are, simply, men. When some sort of leadership is needed, it seems that one from the group simply steps up and does so. As it should be.
So there is no Ubar on IRC gor. Or is there?
It is said that within the circle of one's steel, each man is an Ubar. Does this not mean that within a man's own reach, his own ability to influence and affect others, he is his own man, and that none shall stand above him? And if that is true, is it not also true that with such freedom comes great responsibility? Responsibility to the traditions, to the community, to one another? Could this be a question, then, of honor? Is it not true that if a man is false in what he says and does, as is a man who plays a game with this lifestyle, will he then soon not find himself all but alone and uninvolved, bereft of those who by their own choice take him and his words as an example of how to live their lives in a more Gorean manner?
More next week, perhaps. I want to get to the mailbag at some point here. :-)
I wish you well.
Bear-
Remember, you can write Bear- at [email protected]. All letters will be read and few answered, but he might comment from time to time.