A Slave's Thought anonymous

This girl can remember the first time she was asked...."Are you slave or sub?", this girl quickly answered "sub", not knowing anything of being a slave. But she began to ask questions, she knew that there had to be something more. She was in D/s offline and online. She still wasn't satisfied, something missing, till one day her online D/s Master brought her to the Silk&Steel Tavern on DalNet. She was told to be careful, stick close and keep her mouth shut and just watch. This girl did, and the more she watched, the more she changed. Her eyes widened by what she saw, feelings inside her that stirred she didn't understand. She knew she found what she had been looking for, and now knew where to go to learn about it. So she begged for release, online and offline, to search for her belly, she would visit daily spending hours upon hours hungry for it. She would ask her sisters "how do you know what words to type when serving?", they were all so beautiful, this girl could *never* do that. They would tell a girl, "its within a girl, you have to feel it within your belly". this girl just didn't grasp it.

Then a girl met one of the ops in the channel. He took a girl under His wing so to speak, explained things... pointed this girl in the right direction, and she began to understand little by little. She was scared, intimidated, and confused... but *knew* she was where she belonged. This girl ran into alot of hurdles while there, not because of what Silk & Steel is, but because of the idle chit-chat of several girls, including this one. There were many times this girl wanted to say "forget this" and leave. But her newfound belly wouldn't let her rest. There were nights a girl would cry herself to sleep, wondering if it's worth it. But then getting up the next day, going into the Tavern, kneeling... and serving but mainly obeying... she knew..."Yes, its worth it all".

However, a girl still had some misconceptions as to what was important in her slavery and on IRC its easy to do. Slaves pour their hearts out in beautiful words in a serve, describing themselves and their movements, and this girl was in awe of it, and what she saw as it's beauty. But because of it she put her energy into "that". Sat watching others, reading serves and even at one time writing notes. Then a girl met her Master. And her belly felt something more intense... she begged His collar, a new journey was just beginning. This girl would tell her Master, "Master, your girl can't serve like all the other girls" He would tell her... "all a girl needed to worry about was serving her Master and pleasing Him, not how another girl may serve". A girls Master would point to her belly and say, "Its about what is in here" then raise His hand to her heart and say "And what's in here, not what words are on a monitor". Many times this girl hears about how one serves this way and one serves that way, and it took a long time for this girl to understand, and alot of her Master beating it into her head for her to realize there *is* more to this than just serving. And its Not just words that are well rehearsed, it's straight from a slaves heart. It's a mirror to her belly.

This girl is well on her way in her journey, she knows she is slave and she knows she will not be happy being anything but slave. Her Master has the map for her journey and He is guiding her, she has a long way to go. But her goal? Is to one day be Kajira. This girl has made some really ignorant mistakes along the way, but instead of dwelling on them and letting them set this girl back, she uses them as a stepping stone to the next lesson. There are days when the slightest thing will knock a girl down and catches her attention, causing her to learn a new part of her belly. When that happens, usually tears from rejoicing pour down this girl's cheeks, and Master will hold her... and tell her she is pleasing and that He sees her growing, and changing. This girl would not be where she is without her Master. She realizes that there are many training channels about to "train" a slave. But the best training comes from a girl's Master. The training channels may be okay to learn positions, gorean foods, castes etc. but they can't make a girl a slave, or her belly burn.

When this girl started, her belly was simmering... now since her Master has been stoking it ... it burns fiercly... and still has a ways to go, things to learn. This girl is looking forward to the rest of her journey. She has come a long way, but when looking ahead the road just gets smaller... she sees no end to it. So she will keep on... for a slave never reaches the end... her learning is neverending.

If your seeking your belly, the best advice a girl can give is read, search, and observe. And above all else, if you don't understand something ASK! Its the "true" slaves that will, and they will make it. Good luck and this girl wishes You well.