By lassie{Aldr}

Reflections

lassie's natal anniversary is here again -- with it comes a year of reflection -- to be honest, lassie has had many a bitter pill to swallow this past year.

lassie has learned in this past year that "all is not as they appear" with the abhorrent fake death of a slave (?) in the Silk&Steel. The episode teaching lassie what it was, she didn't want to be.

lassie has faced the "fight or flight" syndrome -- thoughts of changing her nick and/or running coursed through her -- confiding this in a Master lassie trusted -- lassie didn't expect the displeasure, the contempt, the harsh cutting words -- that slap in the face -- taught lassie, to quit is to fail.

lassie has faced the taunting looks, pointing fingers -- accusations of people -- rumors abound -- lassie learned to hold her head high, and to continue forward.

lassie, under the loving guidance of a very special Man -- learned to give up what was holding her back -- she also learned communication to be the sole key between Master/slave -- without it, one has nothing. The last part of that lesson came so very late.

lassie learned what it was to really sacrifice -- informing her family of her lifestyle -- fully and completely -- to be ostracised by those you love is a hard thing for lassie to handle -- holidays and special times making it more difficult.

lassie has learned what pain is -- in the very deepest sense.

friendships gained -- friendships losts -- some still hurt -- others, a blessing in disguise.

lassie's recent surgeries -- the fight to come back from them -- have helped to make her stronger -- yet also made her see her own vulnerability -- life and time no longer taken for granted.

but through it all -- the pain -- the growing -- the learning -- she has always been able to count on a small handful of real Men to tell lassie like it is -- lassie does not fear them, but she fears their displeasure -- lassie knows she can tell them anything -- face what they say -- accepting what comes her way -- knowing lassie will be better for it.

will this year, now beginning, be any better? lassie does not think about it -- her path still looms before her.